logictortured.com Blog

No Truer Words….

Babies are like farts—you can only tolerate your own.

Share this:

Taking a Stand Against Islamic Radicalism

One of the arguments Islamophobes make to support their world view that all Muslims are terrorists, is that if the vast majority of Muslims are moderates and actually reject Islamic radicalism and terrorism, why don’t they ever take a public stand against it? The implicit argument is, that since so called moderates never take such a stand, it must mean they don’t exist.

Well, moderates did take a stand, in the Middle East nonetheless…

Egypt’s majority Muslim population stuck to its word Thursday night. What had been a promise of solidarity to the weary Coptic community, was honoured, when thousands of Muslims showed up at Coptic Christmas eve mass services in churches around the country and at candle light vigils held outside.

From the well-known to the unknown, Muslims had offered their bodies as “human shields” for last night’s mass, making a pledge to collectively fight the threat of Islamic militants and towards an Egypt free from sectarian strife.

“We either live together, or we die together,” was the sloganeering genius of Mohamed El-Sawy, a Muslim arts tycoon.

Share this:

Obamacare is working?!

The major health insurance companies around the country are reporting a significant increase in small businesses offering health care benefits to their employees.

Why?

Because the tax cut created in the new health care reform law providing small businesses with an incentive to give health benefits to employees is working.

Damn socialist small business owners, trying to help people live better lives. I hope they burn in HELL!

Share this:

A friend is worth a thousand pictures

5 pcs beginners Drum Set – $125 (Clio)

Dont have a picture but had a couple Friends look at it that knows instruments

Come and look
125.00 or best offer

Share this:

Awesome band name

A friend at work was talking about her husband’s prostate problems. After the surgery the doctor gave him masturbatory aids. He’s supposed to masturbate as much as possible to somehow aid in the healing process.

The doctor even gave him porn. Yes, the doctor actually prescribed him porn. Who knew that there was such a thing as medicinal porn?

Anyway, if I ever get a band together I’ll definitely call it the Medicinal Porn Stars. Although Wall of Psychic Energy runs a close second.

Share this:

Farming with Artillery

My state has a right to farm statute. The statute deals with situations where suburbanites and urbanites move out into farmland and complain about the smells and noises. The statute forbids neighbors from bringing lawsuits to stop farming activities.

There’s a lawsuit in our courthouse brought by neighbors to a farm. The farm is using the statute as a defense. The problem for the farm is that the neighbors are complaining about Halloween activities held on the farm. They have a corn maze, food, games, and best of all, a pumpkin cannon.

Remember, the farm only gets protection under the statute for farming activities. So the farmers have to explain how the Halloween activities relate to farming.

With a straight face, the attorney for the farm argued that having customers go into the maze and bring out pumpkins is akin to bringing in the crops.

But most awesome of all, the attorney argued that the farm uses the pumpkin cannon to reseed the pumpkin field each year.

Somehow I don’t think the judge is going to buy those arguments.

Update – August 31, 2011: I was right. The judge did not buy the argument about the pumpkin cannon. The Court held that the cannon was not a “generally accepted agricultural practice.”

Share this:

Do companies do anything… cont.

A couple of years ago I wrote a post asking whether companies do anything anymore. In a nutshell, I pointed out that because so many corporations outsource, sell off divisions, and trade paper… that no one actually does anything anymore. Corporations have essentially become vast marketing departments.

My post was recently proven true by an experience my boss had with his home security system.

His house was broken into last night setting off the alarm. Fortunately, the alarm scared off whoever broke down the door. But strangely, the police never showed up.

He called his security company to find out why the police were never called. He was told by the first company that they had sold his contract to a second company. That second company denied holding his contract.

So to put this simply, my boss was paying for a service no one was providing.

Share this:

Thoughts on Tron

I saw Tron Legacy this weekend in Imax 3d. I have some thoughts about it.

I think the only reason they cast any females in the movie was because they needed someone to wear the ridiculous high-heels the costume department came up with.

Speaking of high heels, human females wear them to make their legs appear longer and butts more shapely. Are computer programs actually concerned with such things? “Does this file system make my butt look big?”

It’s sad that computer programs have self-esteem issues merely because they’re designated as female.

Why is the movie called Tron Legacy? The Tron character only had a few seconds of screen time.

This problem goes back to the original Tron. Tron was just a secondary character in the first. Heck, he was a computer program written by a secondary character, so Tron was basically a tertiary character. It would be like if George Lucas had named Star Wars the Chewbacca Chronicles.

My guess is that originally the Tron character was supposed to play a much larger role in the first movie. But, for whatever reason, his role was cut down during the movie’s production or editing. And of course Disney was stuck with the name for the sequel.

This has been asked numerous times, but did the world really need a sequel to Tron? The original movie bombed when it was first released. And here’s the funny part, Disney recognizes that it was so crappy that they pulled all copies of it prior to the release of Legacy. You couldn’t rent it or buy it leading up to the release of Legacy.

Think about that. The original was so incredibly bad that Disney won’t let people watch it. But yet we needed a sequel to it. Wow. Just wow.

Share this:

It depends on your definition of “all” your honor…

A particular court rule only allows a judge to take action if…

“all of the following conditions are met.”

The attorney at the hearing could only show that one of the conditions were met, so the judge said that he lacked authority to take any action on the attorney’s request.

The attorney responded as follows:

So your interpretation of the court rule is that all of the conditions have to be met, your honor?

The judge replied:

That’s what “all” means counselor.

Share this: