logictortured.com Blog

I’ll never understand women

One night a female friend and I were lying around not doing anything in particular. We were just wasting time talking about everything and anything. Suddenly the tone of her voice got serious. She asked:

Do you know what would really make me happy?

My mind started racing about all the great things in my life that made me happy. Being a poor college student I thought about how happiness doesn’t come from the stuff we buy, but from enjoying what life gives you and what we make of it.

My mind never could have guessed her answer:

Matching furniture.

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Employment Opportunities in Nigeria?

I get a lot of those Nigerian 419 emails in the account used by my state’s bar. Because they’re using that email address, and because of the context of the emails, it’s pretty clear that they know I’m a lawyer. For example they send me emails about financial opportunities by helping to transfer money from Nigeria to the US.

The problem for those Nigerians is that they simply do not understand the English language well enough to ever trick me. I could list tons of ridiculous examples showing their ignorance, but I’ll just pick one subtle example. The subject was:

Re: My Will

There’s nothing grammatically wrong with it. Everything is spelled correctly. But logically it makes absolutely no sense.

The email was an attempt to pretend like they were responding to an email I sent. But why would I ever send out an email to a client about my will? It makes no fricken sense.

I’d think that Nigerians would be interested in hiring someone not only with a strong background in English, but with a first hand knowledge of how we actually use it.

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Fake psychic upset that fictional psychic “gets it all wrong”

Salon has published an article worthy of the Onion. Unfortunately, it’s not satire. In the article a “real” psychic complains that Jennifer Love Hewitt’s character on the TV show Ghost Whisperer gets being a psychic all wrong. I can only hope the author saw the humor in what she was writing. Looking through her other pieces for Salon, I think my hope is probably misplaced.

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Court Quote of the Month: “Unacceptable heterosexual behavior”

According to a news article at WNEM, a female CMU student sued the school for discrimination. She alleged that she was singled out and lost her basketball scholarship because she was not a lesbian.

The plaintiff alleged that because she identified herself as heterosexual and wore make-up that her coach singled her out for “unacceptable heterosexual behavior.” Got to love that.

Heike v. Guevara, Slip Copy, 2010 WL 538300 E.D.Mich.,2010. (February 09, 2010)

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