So I get to the store and looked around. I couldn’t find the guitar anywhere. The clerks are those “I’m too cool to acknowledge customers” types. I finally got a clerk to talk to me, and to shorten the story, here’s what happened:

Clerk: “I’ve never heard of that guitar.”

After finding it on their website and showing that they have it in stock.

Clerk: “Well, we have guitars almost like it over there.”

After telling him I drove to see that particular guitar.

Clerk: “We’ll it must be around here somewhere.”

Me staring at him.

Clerk: “I’ll go and look for it.”

I kept looking around myself but he never came to get me. I was about ready to leave when I saw the clerk playing the guitar I wanted. I went up to him and said, “Oh, you found it.”

His response was, “Yep, it was in the back. It wasn’t out because it hasn’t been set up yet.” He then handed it to me.

Anyway, I played it and it wasn’t quite as awesome as I expected, I expected it to be heavier, but I still wanted to buy it. I asked someone who walked by if he worked there. He said he did. I asked if they could give a deal on the guitar.

His response: “Nope, the price on the tag is what we sell it for.”

I replied, “Amazon and Guitar Center are selling it for $669. You can’t go any lower.”*

His response, “Well, you should buy it from them.”

And here’s the killer line he said, “Unless you want to support local businesses, if you do you should buy it from us.”

In a nutshell, their plan to compete against more efficient competitors is to proclaim, “Buy from us if you want to support us!”

I’m sorry. And I don’t mean to be rude, but if your business model is: “Buy from us if you want to.” You should go out of business.

Elderly’s is a corporation with the sole goal of obtaining profit, just like Amazon, only on a much much smaller. However, Amazon did not become the retail giant it is merely because it paid people to shrug their shoulders and say, “Buy from us if you want to support us.”

Amazon became huge because it focused on giving customers non-circular reasons to buy. Four of ‘em actually: Low prices. Cheap/free/fast shipping. Bending-over-backwards customer service. And ensuring as hard as possible that you never have to pay sales taxes.

Amazon gives me four reasons to buy. Elderly’s, you could not be bothered to give me one.

Will you go out of business? Maybe, but probably not. There was a hipster record/CD store in my area called School Kids which has long since went out of business.

Their prices were outrageously high. But they had everything you wanted. The selection was simply astonishing. Since you had it in your hand, you simply bought it there rather than try to find it cheaper elsewhere. However, Amazon’s selection of everything at dirt cheap prices and fast free shipping eliminated School Kids Records pretty quickly.

I personally think Elderly’s and places like it will survive longer mostly because of ignorance. And not the ignorance that you can buy stuff cheaper on the net. It’s a different type of ignorance. The ignorance musicians have over their own instruments.

Hanging out at a local music store one day I overheard a guy bringing in his guitar to have the strings changed. After he left I made fun of him with the clerk. He said it’s actually worse, some people bring their guitars in to be tuned!

I find it amazing that someone would take the time to learn complex chords and scales, but cannot be bothered to learn how turn a peg or use an allen wrench.

And that’s Elderly’s real plan to compete, but it’s unspoken so as not to offend. Ignorant musicians can buy at Eldery’s knowing they have a place to have trivial things “fixed” on the instrument. You know, utterly complicated things like setting intonation or straightening a neck. (Yes, dear, that was sarcasm.)

Still, I wouldn’t want to be in Eldery’s shoes. If your business model is actually relying on the ignorance of your customers, you risk losing your entire business once they wise up. If that ever happens, all of those hipster clerks will have to find some other place to be paid to ignore customers.

* I just wanted to add that I did not expect Eldery’s to give me the $669 price. I realize that internet and big box stores have a higher volume which means they can sell lower. I was willing to pay more for buying it from Elderly’s because it was in my hand and so I could use it at practice the next day, I just didn’t want to pay full price. Nearly any capitulation on their part probably would have been enough to get me to buy, e.g., set of strings, 10 bucks off, strap-locks, etc. However, a shrug was not enough.

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I thought about installing Windows 98se or Windows 2000 Professional on it, but those OSes wouldn’t have the drivers to run the netbook’s hardware such as the networking, camera, blue-tooth, and touch-pad.

This past weekend I finally decided to try Ubuntu. I first tried the live CD of the latest version 10.10.

(I should point out that a live CD is a CD with the entire OS burned onto it. You simply boot to the CD and you can use the OS to test it out. I actually used Universal USB Installer to install the ISO to a flash driver and booted from there.)

Anyway, I’ve tried Linux before on other systems. The problem with Linux, in my view, is that its users treat it like a rite of passage. Nothing is easy. Nothing is consistent. No one is helpful. Their attitude is that since they had to suffer through everything, you should too. Something simple such as installing new software is a mess in Linux. In Windows you download what you want to install, double click it, and follow the prompts. In Linux it’s mostly a command based process. And of course it’s inconsistent. Some versions of Linux use APT, some use yum, some use tarballs, it’s a real mess.

Here’s another example from Ubuntu. Changing your workgroup name is pretty simple in Windows. If you don’t know where the dialog box is, you can type in help for “change workgroup” and it’ll tell you how and where. In Ubuntu, as all Linux variations, you manually edit files for such mundane tasks. But you can’t simply just find the correct file, open it, edit it, save it, and be done. Nor can you simply right click on the file, chose “edit as root” to edit it. No, you have to use the command line because system files are protected against modification. That’s what makes Linux so secure… and so annoying.

The only luck I’ve had with Linux in the past is when some company, I think it was Mandrake, offered a free download of their professional version of Linux. That version came with a hand to hold onto. It had built in MP3 and DVD support. It had an easy to use interface for installing software. It had dialog boxes for changing your screen resolution and the like. I got pretty comfortable using it to the point where i could intentionally fuck it up, but still boot into the command-line to fix it. Unfortunately, I had to stop using that system because my dad wanted a computer to use, so I formatted the drive, installed XP, and gave it to him.

Anyway, I decided to try Ubuntu on my son’s netbook because it’s marketed and designed for idiots like me. And over all, Ubuntu succeeds as a replacement for Windows, but you still have to be a nerd to get it to work.

The live CD of Ubuntu set up all of my hardware. It automatically detected my wireless connection. It was much more peppy than XP. That was great. However, there were problems I could not fix without being able to edit files, and I couldn’t edit those files because it was a live version of the OS, not an installed version. In other words, nothing was saved from boot to reboot. Because it was peppy enough and because all the hardware worked, I decided to go for it and wipe XP and install it. The installation went off without a hitch.

One problem with Ubuntu is that it won’t nicely connect to Windows PCs on the network. When you navigate to Windows computers you’ll get an error saying that it can’t mount that resource. In searching for a fix for this I found this goes back way before version 10.10.

This is complete BS. Ubuntu is supposed to be a consumer OS. It’s going to be used by people with Windows systems on their network. I’ve never had a problem navigating Windows computers with any other version of Linux I’ve tried. So it seems to be Ubuntu specific.

I tried fixing it by changing the name of the workgroup Ubuntu uses to match my network. So I had to find the correct command to use, open the file, edit the file, and save the file. The command to restart Samba (software Linux uses to connect to Windows’ networks) didn’t work. So I had to reboot the netbook. That fix didn’t work.

To make a long story short, I ended up getting around the problem by using the Windows PC’s specific IP address. This is not a solution. I had to set up my Windows server to a static IP address which is not very consumer friendly. And most consumers would not have thought about using IP addresses or figured out by poking around on Ubuntu how to do it. And this is a netbook, so it should be easy to take with you and access other Windows networks without much difficulty. My work-around is sort of like using a crow bar to open the glove box in my new car and then closing it by using duct tape. Sure, it’d work. But it’s not a solution.

Anyway, my son loves Ubuntu. He agrees his system is much faster than before. He’s able to get on his flash gaming sites, e.g., Poptropica and Not Doppler. Skype works great. He’s able to download tons of free games such as Alien Arena and Freedoom. (Get it? Freedoom, an open source version of Doom. Those open source guys are so clever! Seriously, what’s the emoticon for rolling your eyes?)

As I said, XP took up nearly the entire 8 gig internal flash drive, despite having hardly any software installed. Ubuntu takes up about four gigs, and that includes its own office suite. That left plenty of space left over for those games I was talking about.

And the best thing about Ubuntu, is that they finally fixed printing. I use a network printer and Ubuntu found it and installed it. Anyone who has tried to print in Linux knows it’s generally a fricking pain in the ass. Thanks Ubuntu for finally getting that right.

What I’d like to do is install Ubuntu on my wife’s computer, which currently runs Windows 7 x64. Because it’s centrally located, everyone uses it, and because of that, it tends to get viruses. Ubuntu’s security would put an end to that. But there is no iTunes client for Linux, and my wife has a fancy new iPhone 4, so that option is a no-go for now. However, I’m still considering it. I could keep iTunes on one of the other computers for loading up stuff. I also have to find some easy to use graphic programs to use with my scanner which is connected to my wife’s computer.

What I find most interesting about this Ubuntu experiment is the discovery that we really don’t use software anymore. Remember in the old days when Best Buy had isles of Windows specific software? That’s almost all gone. Facebook, gmail, Twitter, bittorrent, etc. doesn’t care what OS you’re using, as long as you have a browser. Any cool software is usually open sourced and cross-platform, e.g., VLC. And anything that remains is still cross platform, e.g., Skype. This also makes it much easier to try alternative operating systems.

What’s interesting is that it was Microsoft which killed off the third party PC software market. Anytime a third party introduced successful Windows software, Microsoft would enter the market with its own product. It didn’t take long for companies to realize that writing software for Windows was a losing proposition. Even if you succeeded with a great product, Microsoft would simply enter the market and wear you down until you were gone.

So I have to love the irony. Because Microsoft’s greed killed off the third party software market, we are now free to stop using Windows. Thanks Microsoft! Thanks a lot!

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There are a lot of complaints about companies such as AT&T and Comcast. In reading through those types of complaints, I’ve figured out the gist of the problem. Despite what people think, Comcast is not a cable TV provider and AT&T is not a DSL provider. They are both marketing companies.

By that I mean their main focus is on marketing services and getting people to sign long term contracts. The day to day hum drum stuff like taking service calls, installation, and sending techs to repair your line, are outsourced.

Think about it, Comcast doesn’t employ a single person to help out in tech support. Why? Because Comcast is not in the tech support business. AT&T does not employ anyone to come out and install your DSL line. Why? Because AT&T is not in the DSL installation business.

So the problem these companies have, and the reason they are almost universally reviled, is that they’re run by their marketing departments. (Companies used to have marketing departments to help sell their products. Now companies contract with outsourcing companies to give their marketing departments something to sell.)

The problem with all this is that the marketing department does not care if someone has a problem with their DSL. All they care about is whether the person signed a two year contract for DSL service. Once the contract is signed, the marketing department’s obligation is done. If a customer has a problem, the “solution” is to let him cancel and make him pay the early termination fee.

So it’s not as if the companies are turning a blind eye to customer problems. That’s what most people think. “When is Comcast going to start caring about its customers?” The problem is that these companies no longer have any eye on the customer after the contract is signed. Any eyes on providing the services sold, helping customers, and on repairing the services sold have been outsourced. Out of sight out of mind.

To better explain this, imagine your local Comcast building as a microcosm of the much larger Comcast. Imagine a meeting with the boss, the marketing/sales guy, the installation chick, the tech guy, and the help girl.

The marketing/sales guy would have ideas about how to get customers to sign up. The installation chick would be there and chime in about how many techs she’d need to install an x amount of new customers. The tech guy would talk about what sort of technology, hardware, software, and upgrades would be required. The help girl would talk about how many of those new customers would need help and what sort of support would be required to help them.

Now imagine that same meeting with only the boss and the marketing/sales guy. Does that make the problem clear enough?

Update – 7-25-09:

Read this woman’s story of Verizon’s attempt at installing FIOS! Well, Verizon never installed it of course, utterly incompetent contractors did. A hurricane would have been less of a disaster. And it perfectly explains what I’m talking about.

What’s most interesting is that Verizon does not even provide FIOS services, their own product! That has been outsourced to a company called Frontier Communications.

I can’t help but wonder what Frontier Communications actually does. Is it yet another marketing/sales company outsourcing to other companies to have real work performed? Is there a never ending chain of marketing/sales companies all outsourcing with each other to avoid ever having to do real work? Maybe all of Corporate America ™ is nothing more than an Amway-like multi-level-marketing scam.

Update – 9-3-09:

I came across this post on Tech Dirt about how Netflix has refunded money to its customers without even a single customer asking for a refund.

This proves my point exactly. Netflix is not a mere marketing company. Netflix owns its entire operation (other than the United States Postal Service, of course). So it still cares about the service it provides and the customers it serves.

Update – 9-8-09:

Apparently Sprint cannot even market its own phone!

Update – 9-15-09:

Comcast is advertising a high Def NFL channel in Chicago which it cannot offer due to technological reasons. Why be bothered figuring out what you can actually deliver when it’s so much easier to promise everything, right?

Verizon is unable to provide an actual working DVR to its customers who pay for such devices.

Update – 9-17-09:

Bad news. This “do nothing” disease is spreading to the hotel industry. Hyatt is now outsourcing its cleaning staff.

Update – 9-30-09:

AT&T sells a guy a 3 mbps DSL Pro service. The guy pays for it for three months. He finally calls to complain about the slow performance when he’s informed that despite selling him the Pro service and charging for the Pro service, AT&T does not offer the Pro service in his area.

Update – 10-12-09:

Yet another example. Here’s Verizon refusing to honor the price agreed upon for their services. The customer and the sales guy entered into a signed contract that the TV, phone, and internet service would be no more than $77.99 a month for the first year. Of course the bills received were double that.

Verizon blames the salesman for promising more services than he should have at that price. Exactly how does that happen? Seriously! Verizon advertised a triple play service for $77.99 per month for a year. The customers wanted it and Verizon’s salesman sold it. Suddenly Verizon doubles the price?

Update – 10-14-09:

Comcast was more than willing to take a customer’s money, but could not be bothered with honoring its rebate. Of course the task of actually doing what was promised was outsourced, with disastrous results.

Update – 10-15-09:

The sole business model of 1-800-Flowers is delivering flowers to a specific location at a specific time. Apparently, that doesn’t actually happen because 1-800-Flowers does not actually do anything like that, instead it outsources doing deliveries to businesses that are closed or that no longer even exist. Seriously.

Update – 3-02-10: Apparently, Time Warner cable cannot provide the HD service it sells.

Update – 9-03-10:
AT&T cannot provide the DSL it sold the customer.

I love this comment from that link:

I had almost the exact same experience years ago signing up for Verizon DSL. The order would simply be cancelled. Eventually, after several tries I got them to tell me that the sales dept had no idea if the equipment in the area could handle a new customer, and if there wasn’t room for another the order would get cancelled.

This is exactly what I’ve been talking about. It’s all about sales without any idea or plan on how to deliver.

Update – 9-07-10:

AT&T sales people apparently lie to customers to get more sales and higher omissions.

Update – 1-12-11:

Someone from Comcast called a guy and offered him a plan. He accepted it. He never got it. When he called about the plan, he was told they never offered the plan. He kept calling back until someone finally told him what was really going on….

I finally got someone and once again explained my predicament. Here I was finally given an answer to my question of who the hell was calling me. It was a satellite office. Comcast apparently outsources upgrade-calling to smaller companies. These companies offer deals that Comcast doesn’t and supposedly can’t replicate.

Update – 4-14-11: A guy bought a mattress and box spring set from a Sears store and paid for delivery. After two months and 13 attempts later, Sears has been unable to make the delivery.

What’s Sears’ excuse? A Sears’ spokesman stated,

I do know to resolve the issue, Sears worked with several outside vendors.

Think about that. The guy bought a mattress set from a specific store. “Couple” mean two. “Few” means about three. So “several” means at the very least, four. Why did Sears need at least four third party vendors involved? One for the warehouse and one for the delivery. That’s two. Who are the other two?

Sears might save a little bit of money not doing anything, but it’s certainly getting bad press about it. Check out the Consumerist.com for more information about how Sears treat their customers like shit.

Update – 11-30-11:

I got the machine (Asus G73 gaming laptop PC) 1.5 years ago, 6 months ago sent it in for overheating, got it back and the HDD was installed backwards. And not screwed in. 20 phone calls later, I get a “Oh, yeah, we outsource our services and they screwed up, not us” kind of answer.

Update – 1-06-12:
Apparently, even opinions are being outsourced nowadays.

Update – 4-05-12:
Kraft bought high-end coffee retailer Gevalia and outsourced its sales operating meaning that even long time customers can no longer buy coffee.

Update – 5-02-12:
Intel is kicking major booty by not outsourcing chip manufacturing. While other chip design companies, e.g., AMD, nVidia, IBM have two foundries from which to choose, Intel has been able to leapfrog past them by keeping the design and production in house.

On a related note, Delta Airlines has bought its own oil refinery to keep fuel costs down. That’s a reverse outsource!!! The ridiculous myth that “it’s cheaper if someone else does it” seems to be weakening. Clearly paying someone else a profit to do something costs exactly that profit. While it can make sense to outsource when you don’t have the expertize or resources to to it yourself, eliminating the expertise and resources you do have to give some other entity the profit generally makes no sense. Other than the temporary “benefits” due to the initial “savings” gained.

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